im scared. of the future that is. i've thought about it. i have but what, 3 years of schooling left. after which thrust into the unknown which is called the working world.

I've 3 years to get ready. And i realised that there isn't much time left. Career wise, and even settling down for marriage? what? 3 years, to get ready for that? This is crazy, and im scared. I guess it's time to grow up huh. The countdown has started.

And i'm scared. Sometimes all we have to hold on to is hope, that God provides. And sometimes that feels so woefully inadequate. Yet it is all we ever really needed.

`RoN~
1:31 p.m.

free world
full of beauty
today i swim
until you come

http://ludomancy.com/games/today.html

`RoN~
1:30 a.m.

I guess i like that word. Its so overused in sentences, just like stuff, but more formal. But by itself, the word breaks down to so much more. And it is precisely things that have been on my mind of late. Example, i just realised that this is the last week of school. And that exams are less than 2 weeks away. And even more, I've been thinking that I should be starting to mug, or at least should have started to mug.

Too many things on my mind right now. heh.

`RoN~
9:36 p.m.

I guess i like that word. Its so overused in sentences, just like stuff, but more formal. But by itself, the word breaks down to so much more. And it is precisely things that have been on my mind of late. Example, i just realised that this is the last week of school. And that exams are less than 2 weeks away. And even more, I've been thinking that I should be starting to mug, or at least should have started to mug.

Too many things on my mind right now. heh.

`RoN~
9:36 p.m.

I guess i like that word. Its so overused in sentences, just like stuff, but more formal. But by itself, the word breaks down to so much more. And it is precisely things that have been on my mind of late. Example, i just realised that this is the last week of school. And that exams are less than 2 weeks away. And even more, I've been thinking that I should be starting to mug, or at least should have started to mug.

Too many things on my mind right now. heh.

`RoN~
9:36 p.m.

Things have been moving along slowly. In fact, it's already the weekend and i still haven't started on my lab report testifies to the fact that I'm slacking alot more now. Still don't know if that's a good or bad thing =/ I do know what I want though, i want to wake up earlier (this is going to be reallllllllly difficult to do.)

Also I've been meaning to study for the upcoming test on monday, but not studying is just so much easier. And yes Robb, let's go study in the library someday. Also, we need to go jogging.

I had IPPT today, was better than I expected. Considering I expected to fail, that's not really that good i suppose. But i passed anyway, and not because of my 2.4, i pretty much outdid myself at 11:21, thought i would get > 12 since i havent ran in a year. Also i blame robyn. I was thinking to myself as i ran, if only i had gone jogging earlier. But then again i ended with a pretty good time, so im happy. Just that i missed SBJ by 4 cm. 100 bucks gone like that.

Anyway, i was cleaning up my old house and shifting a ton of stuff over. And I found oh so many things, like a trunk full of memories, I'm thinking i should take photos and store them digitally, post them on facebook and embarass.. embarrass, everyone. Or so. Till then, tallyhoo.

`RoN~
11:15 p.m.

interesting thing ive discovered. that im learning so much more at church now. And even teaching kids, I've learnt more than I probably ever would. Like today, the theme was, God Helps Us.

And simple themes like these, the ever pessimist in me would say, there's nothing to be learnt from it. These kids have grown up in christian homes, they know all these stuff by heart, whats there to know.

And the ever patient God sweetly replies, theres so much more to know. Like how ive been struggling, so much school work, tests, assignments, reports, cca activities, church commitments, so much so that ive got every little bit of time crammed up with business. So much so that I can neve find time for God. And I always reason it out, when this sem is over, ill make it up to you. But the future is later, God wants me now.

And i havent been asking for his help at all. not in my work, not in my assignments or tests or reports. My God just isnt the God of my school life. And thats just sad. Oh my God. How can I complain?

And with this, things have begun to move slowly. gradually im starting to give up more things. Giving them back up to God. I can't take this life any more, you can take it from me ^^ I'm giving up.

`RoN~
11:16 p.m.

well the past week has been hectic. The past past week was actually the hectic one, but this week is the aftermath hecticness. Since all the lab reports spill over to this week. Can't wait for everything to end, but it's not going to be soon :(

I wish I had time to think. I want to learn piano. I want to start writing! argh.

But reflecting on life has been insightful. I now have a rough semblance of what I want to go into, a rough outlook on how science can be meaningful. Perhaps after honours, I'll go for masters OVERSEAS. Hopefully in a snowy country with polar bears. And then my plan is to go into RnD, perhaps with pharmaceuticals? It's all looking interesting now.

And bio and chem and physics are starting to look interesting, even fascinating, to the point where you can tell God, wow, you made all that? That's pretty cool.

And it is it is.

`RoN~
10:09 p.m.

so i admit i havent been posting much of anything. the last year was a hodgepodge of nonposts and random assortment of junk.

But i've decided to return from hiatus hopefully. And start posting more often. Hopefully at least once a week at that.

Well, my last week wasn't so good. It was the worst of times. When reservist hit. When church hit. When summer prog hit. Yeah just about everything all at once. And im supposed to be studying for my test at that. That ws a real bad struggle. But out of that God taught me a real good lesson. Contentment, and what satisfaction really is about. Not letting other define who you are and your experiences.

Sigh brains not functioning well now.

`RoN~
11:51 p.m.

I just needed to archive this lyrics, because its just so dam hard to find.

Mr. Moon - Kate Micucci

One day
The moon got tired of being
Up in the sky
He wandered
Down through the starlight
And landed on the oceanside

And he smiled while
He jumped in the water
And laughed about
As he danced in the sand
He put on His swim trunks and snorkel
And guess what
Mr. Moon swam

Did I tell you
That moonbeams are heavy?
And therefore
Mr. Moon sank
He fell down
Through the seawalls of seaweed
And landed
At the bottom of a tank

And he sat there
With the starfish and jellyfish
And laughed about
The sharks and the whales
They drank lots
Of Miller Lights and Heinekens
And laughed about
All of their tales

Oh, Mr. Moon
The stars are shining for you in the night sky
Please come home
Oh, Mr. Moon
The sun is shining for you until it goes away
And then it's dark
And then it's dark
And then it's dark

`RoN~
3:59 p.m.

Today I asked God about life.

He told me, "My grace is sufficient for you."

I replied, "What the hell does that mean?"

`RoN~
3:32 p.m.

i've always loved christmas for the same reason. this melancholic feeling it brings, along with the rainy weather and cold drab hues. I always loved melancholy.

but now this, this is not it. interestingly, odb spoke directly at me when i read it.

Almost everyone will at some time in their life be affected by depression, either their own or someone else’s. Some common signs and symptoms of depression include feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, worthlessness, and helplessness. Although we cannot say for certain that characters in the Bible experienced depression, we can say that some did exhibit a deep sense of despondency, discouragement, and sadness that is linked to personal powerlessness and loss of meaning and enthusiasm for life

Yeah loss of enthusiasm for life. thats it.

`RoN~
3:43 p.m.

when everything around me
falls to pieces
I've got something more
in my life.

`RoN~
11:35 p.m.

I must say, I was wrong. Interesting.

But I am happy. Thanks to Feng, I have found a song which I've always loved but never knew. It's Sanctus by Libera. And yes, now I know the next CD im gonna get ^^

Sanctus

Benedictus, benedictus
qui venit in nomine benedictus
In nomine Domine

Sanctus Dominus Deus Sabbaoth
Pleni sunt coeli et terra gloria
Sanctus Dominus Deus Sabbaoth
Pleni sunt coeli gloria.

Translated it roughly means:

Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD

Holy is the Lord God of Hosts
His glory fills the heavens and the earth.

`RoN~
9:29 p.m.

so once in a while, life pops out something interesting enough to make me log in and post. And yes, this is that rare occasion.

And by life I mean Life. Gotcha there. The newspaper section Life, had an interesting ad on page 2, seemingly for the department of appropriate behaviour. At first I must admit I thought it was real, of course, upon further deliberations I decided it was too gimmicky.

And I was right. I wanted to post about it straight away to prove I was right, but got too lazy. In any case I googled it, and found only 1 blog who actually believed the ad.

Well, I saw the situation playing out in 2 ways. One is that the department is real, and then they'd be pretty stupid for making such an ad. In any case, the public outcry would be great, and the consequences would not have a very happy ending.

The 2nd way was this, that it was fake and actually a marketing gimmick by starhub. Albeit, a verrry distasteful one. Yeah sure it would generate more eyeballs, but in the end the public outcry would be great as well, maybe even involving the government? (who knows why SPH didn't censor it). Either way, it would still end up with a not so happy ending.

So I'm just gonna sit back and watch the events unfold. I hope I get to say I told you so, again.

`RoN~
11:26 p.m.

Hm, heres a long awaited post. While I'm down with some silly bug which is clogging up my brain.

Blah. Haven't posted in so long.

So i've been watching with mild interest as the whole world's economy collapses around me. And i just can't shake the whole itoldyouso feeling. I guess I just don't see how economics can work.

How can everyone get rich together? That just doesn't make sense. It should be a 0 sum game, i win = you lose. I earn 10 bucks means you lose 10 bucks. Thats simple maths right? But I guess it isn't the same. The only way you can keep printing money is to keep producing or adding value to goods. Say an artist paints a piece of art, he creates new value out of the paper, ink and canvas. What was previously worth maybe a good 10 bucks is now worth a 1000.

So hurrah, we can print a 1000 more bucks now to cover that value. And as miners mine new ore, farmers grow new crops, refineries add value by refining, nestle adds value by making that oh so nice koko crunch. And yay we can print more money to cover those values. Of course, this is not counting the fact that food is eaten up, things wear and tear, and so the value drops again. The hope here is that we produce more than we use.

So how much is this whole world worth. Not very much I guess. There's no way oil prices could jump to double what it previously was, oil just isn't worth so much. Same for all other commodities, i highly doubt we are producing so much that we could see markets everywhere cimbing as more and more money pours in. Simply put there is more money floating around than what the resources are really worth. And so we see, that not only with the dot.com bubble, this is a global credit commodity bubble. And all it takes is of course just a little push.

You see, economcs really is a zero sum game after all. When they've thought they've earned so much, now they've lost so much. And so the problem all lies with the US fed? Maybe Greenspan was to blame. The power of the self-correcting free market? haha, fat chance. The problem, as he admitted, was the flawed ideology. But what exactly is this flawed ideology? Was it that money makes people stupid? No, the entire ENTIRE philosophy behind it was flawed. For markets to be self regulating, is a humanistic approach. It is belief that man is basically good. That they can have enough sense to decide for themselves whats right and whats wrong.

But of course this ideology is flawed. Because man is basically evil. Not that man was created evil mind you, but when the fall came adam's seed became corrupted. Without any regulating powers (no the market is not as good a regulating power as say the govt), it is analogous to see it from a sociological standpoint. Let's say, remove all policemen and any security forces, I think the society can regulate itself without the need for any government intervention. Let people judge for themselves whats right and wrong, if the majority dont like people who steal, then let the mob handle it. Pretty soon the society should be self correcting right?

Wrong. The basic belief that man is good is utterly flawed. Any such society would pretty much soon degrade into a chunk of anarchy and mob mentality. You see why I don't really care much for econs? haha.. Science on the other hand, thats the work of God ^^ Thermodynamics easily shows tha entropy of any system should increase being left alone. And thats what happened in the hypothetical society as well as in the global economy. Entropy tends to increase resulting in greater disorder. It's just a law of nature, consistent with that of the bible. If only economists and financial analysts took physics =p

`RoN~
9:36 p.m.

and you see me
lying back on a bench
arms spread over the rest
legs stretched out far
staring at the sky
from a bench in the park

On a sidenote, the last post isn't meant to be a poem, or a insightful thought, or some witty one liner. It's a post that was never meant to be. Because I started writing, and decided to stop.

Yeah haha, that's all it ever was.

`RoN~
8:03 p.m.

contrary to prior knowledge.

`RoN~
1:57 a.m.

Oh what a foretaste of glory divine.

`RoN~
12:44 a.m.

A few days ago, Jeff left a comment on my tagboard. I found it hilarious because I have no idea who Jeff is.

Increasingly, I find myself more and more forced to act. Like for crusades. Silly robb.

But no, not that kind of act. I mean like Dexter, for those who have seen it. It tells a story of a serial killer who masquerades as a normal guy. And I find myself in that posiion more and more often. No, I have no homicidal tendencies, just that I find everyday common banter annoying. Even the simplest of hi, hows life can annoy me, although not so much as, wow, your day looked really fun care to tell me more? perhaps this is why i am so socially inept.

But as said before on some newspaper article I read, Usually when people ask about your day, most people don't mean it. I guess its common courtesy, but I find it too cheesy for my taste. But so help me, I'm trying to be more friendly and annoy less people. So yes, I'm going to try and make a point to ask people about their day and comment on how wonderful life is to those who feel the same way, even if it annoys me so.

So there, do indulge me please.

`RoN~
6:26 p.m.

today i realised that if Peter from Foxtrot had married his blind girlfriend, her name would be Denise Fox. And I found that hilarious.

My computer's been dying lately. It just randomly blue screens and restarts. So I live in constant fear that my laptop will restart suddenly.

I haven't updated in goodness knows how long. So let's see what has happened since then. I've entered uni, still too lazy to start on anything I promisedto start on. Still too busy to exercise. And still having awkward moments of non recognition.

Unfortunately with a new school comes new faces, and new people who expect you to remember them after first introductions. I dunno how people do it, but I have lousy face recognition skills. So yes, there was a mysterious girl who was waving intently at me at the bus stop. But in a moment of blurness, I just stared blankly back. It just takes me about only good 5 minutes to recognise anyone anyway. At least I've gotten my QDL. So that's one thing great at least.

I guess when it all comes down to this one thing, its that I really have to plan my times, because there is just toomuch freedom here. What you do with your time is really up to you. And I guess I've been squandering mine. So... NO MORE COMPUTER GAMES FOR YOU! Its time to restart atmp, and the muggingness.

Actually theres so many more things I want to do. Like play the piano, play the guitar, organise some dam big event. But step by step anyway. Firstly I need to put what's first first. Which should be God. And I guess that's what I need to focus on right about.... now.

`RoN~
10:41 p.m.

The moon glaze rose, shimmer-shine, on wings of water ripples. The moon sank to the murky depths of the now still waters.

Kalyx shifted uneasily. Legs swaying softly. More ripples. She liked the ripples; the soft sigh as it flowed as silk over the pale white reflection of the moon overhead. Perhaps, like, would be too strong a word, if she could like.

She sang a song, softly, now steadily, to herself. Ebbing with dips and troughs, following where the waves rode dark. Now reaching a crescendo, the symphony rose, waves crested, hearts soared. If joy was there, she would have felt it. Left unexpressed, Crescendo, and fall. The music in her heart went soft, the song in her soul faded silently, now still. No, it was still there, soft but sure.

She glanced upon the gentle waters, glimmer and glow. Her gloomy gaze grew, and grimace. Moonlight softly relit, reflected, refracted. Shone, shimmered and shattered on the peaks of ripples, cascaded into countless clear crystals, careening into the unknown. Glint, gleam, now gone. More shifting, more ripples. She sat morose.

A sigh melancholy, now reflecting and ruminating. On what melancholy should sound like. On how light bends, then breaks. On how feelings seem silent. On how some should show. But couldn't, she relied on situation to soothe her soul, on ambience to expose the emotion.

More movement, still melancholic, still morose. Still, she rose. Swiftly, silently now, she left the glade.

`RoN~
8:45 p.m.

I've came and gone from melbourne. It was really fun. But that's all I'm going to say, because that's all I can say. I have no idea why, I remembered it being a blast, I remembered having the time of my life. But when asked what's so fun about it, I fail to pinpoint any particular interesting event or memorable moment. Which is why photographs exist I guess. Its my strange quirk.

And all its craziness

And I've been wasting my time away. Haven't exactly been doing anything productive of late. Which is why it was queer revenge when I got stuck waiting for a bus. The 173 was taking forever to come, I was feelin lazy and decided to take it instead of taking a 10min walk to the 61 bus stop. Of course it took 25min to not come, by which time I gave up and walked down the 10min road to the 61 bus stop. And of course along the way murphy made sure to make the 173 pass by. In any case, I waited another 20min for the 61. And hence all in all I took about 2 hours to get home when usually it should take 30min.

But hey, I got down to reading. And strangely I was reading about time management and prioritizing. And I guess I thanked God for that seemingly wasted 2 hours, because I would just have wasted it on other frivolous activities instead. But now, I've solved another of life's great mysteries :)

Boom de yada, BOOM DE YADA!

`RoN~
10:18 p.m.

my head hurts.

In "a wrinkle in time" the smart ass brother, went to take on IT. He tried and he failed. And got sucked in instead. Sometimes, I feel like that.

It is standard fare, avoid worldly desires and possessions. Do not expose yourselves to these sbversive elements. I find myself running counter culture to this advice. Tis afterall, what secular humanists call narrowmindednss and intolerance. I always thought it best to know what you are avoiding. Perhaps not.

`RoN~
10:06 p.m.

Its been more than a month since I wrote anything. And goodness knows, its already been 7 months since ORD. Insane how time flies when you're out of NS. Thats a good 1/3 of it...

So the past few days have been full of tearful goodbyes, and not so tearful ones. Finally finished my relief teaching stint, packed my bags and left the building. Interesting to see how much junk had piled up after 5 months of work. Heh.

Stupid fools.

And then edgar cheated me by making go down all the way to the airport to see him off to india. blah....

And then um... nothing much else. Its looking to be a really busy june hols for me. Next week is the only spare time I have more or less... 2nd week gets totally taken up by church camp, and then 3rd and 4th week of the hols im offski.

And then when I come back, probably going off the next week for scicamp. blarghness, no time to rest at all =/

`RoN~
9:46 p.m.

well when u are noob, and then combine that with a band. you get a nooband.

time has been fleeting. faster and faster it seems.. everything just flies past when you're lazy

`RoN~
10:27 p.m.

Sometimes I always stop to wonder. And then continue. Let us, sing, and wonder.

oh. got u there with my vague references. thought there was something going on didn't you. But sigh. Oh yeah I failed driving. Don't really care I guess.. kinda predicted it, but hm. I've taken to psychoanalysing people, I can't help it. It's fun. Just looking at them, and trying to pierce beneath their actions to what they are thinking, and what drives them to do what they do. Its the cause behind the effect.

And i sit and think, and psychoanalyse myself. what drives me, and i can't find an answer. I don't even have a goal in life. No vaguely attainable ones at least.

Well this post has hardly been as interesting and insightful as i thought it would be.

`RoN~
6:56 p.m.

Today I feel high. For some strange reason I feel high. Maybe its because the roads were pretty clear so i fared much better when driving.

But highness comes with a price. In fact the word highness here sounds so wrong, it's almost like.. royalty.

So I had the most absurd, absurb, hmm.. adsurb. Absurd msn convos ever.. I really should post it up here, but its too bloody long haha, and im lazy to put it all. So here are a few extracts.. so we were talking about subscribing for wow:

- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
so i can see if i stilll haf time
ag says:
lol yeah im waiting for uni and expansion also
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
i still havent really had time to start on my plans for global domination yet

- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
bah i just tried to kill a piece of dust
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
i thought it was a mosquito
ag says:
well i think that sentence just killed any credibility ur plan had
ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
when i takeover the world the first thing id do is to exterminate all mosquitoes

ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
haha to take over the world
ag says:
besides fass supposedly has the girls anyway, and u'd need a harem for that
ag says:
if only for looks..
ag says:
all the other world dominators wouldnt take u seriously otherwise
ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
theyre probably all tech geeks with iphone boxes
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
blah stupid monkeys
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
ruining the name of us global dominators

ag says:
should probably start in japan =p
ag says:
at least for the harem portion haha
ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
but japanese girls are so yuck
ag says:
really meh
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
with their weird ponytails
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
and high squeaky voices
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
and the i wanna be an anime character irritatingness?
ag says:
thought jap girls were supposedly good looking
ag says:
lol yeah except for that

ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
hmm that shld be my 2nd thing to do
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
eradicate the chinese language
on`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
who in the world talks in pictograms anyway
ag says:
egyptians
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
its like egyptians trying to pronounce heiroglyphs
ag says:
maybe they did =p
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
oo
ag says:
bird eye obelisk bird hand!
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
eagle eagle water pharoah!
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
woah that is pretty cool

ag says:
u threacherous scheming con artist!
ag says:
whatever..spelling sucks
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
lolll
ag says:
too long to retype anyway lol
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
well its basically that anyway
ag says:
will only correct typos <8 characters

- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
blah ill just get one of my slaves to do it for me
ag says:
haha spastic..so u'd hire a grammar nazi to bug u all day?
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
oo dbl effect on nazi there

ag says:
id rather be the smug and superiour guy correcting ppl in a condescending manner
ag says:
er
ag says:
apparently i need to study english too
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
blah ok ill hire u then
ag says:
*superior
ag says:
just nice 8 letters =p
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
hahaha
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
bah i cant hire u..
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
u onli correct stuff up to 8 letters

ag says:
i bet i can win a lousy prize faster than u can take over the world =p
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
blah monkey
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
im pretty sure i can take over the world faster
ag says:
i'd ask u to put that down in writing, but then i think i'd prob lose that bet

ag says:
haha there'd probably be a coup
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
hm
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
i always wondered y coup doesnt rhyme with soup
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
it should

ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
bah sorry if i seem abit afk after this.. im extracting bits of convo to put on blog
ag says:
blah not the embarassing brain fart!

ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
i totally need to record this convo
ag says:
cos of an embarassing brain fart up there that i hope remains hidden
ag says:
i bet u're gonna scroll up looking for it now right
ag says:
monkey
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
i was planning to
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
but decided im too lazy

- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
zzz i cant find ur 8 letter correction thing
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
strange i cant find it
ag says:
the very very top?
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
ok i found it
ag says:
utopia -> ants in laptop -> dell -> above chain
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
the strange part is i cant find it in notepad - ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
even when i copy pasted the whole thing and used ctrl f
ag says:
bah monkey this is the most embarassing convo ever probably haha

ag says:
see..weird embarrassing convos..
ag says:
and moreso if it turns out that i've been spelling embarrassing wrongly all the while
ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
i dunno
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
embarassing
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
embarrasing
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
embarrassing
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
embaresing
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
hm wait scrap that last one

ag says:
double b next!
ag says:
embbarseeng
[xi. has been added to the conversation.
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
xi
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
how do u spell embarassing

nick says:
i think shyness is ok in girls, but out of character in boys, right?
nick says:
why are we talking about this?
nick says:
this is such a strange converstaion

[xi. says:
er
[xi. says:
what happen!
ag says:
monkey ron is taking bits of convos out of context to ridicule us in his blog
ag says:
cycle over and stop him!
[xi. says:
somebody set us up the bomb!
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
that shld so go on my blog
ag says:
main screen turn on!
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
except ive alr posted and im too lazy
[xi. says: NO FAIL
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
hm bad news: i forgot to put something in my entry
- ron`: courage, teach me to be shy says:
so now i have more stuff

`RoN~
10:12 p.m.

I have the insanest week ahead. Everyday after school, I'll be out, either giving tuition or having driving lessons. Sigh.. really stressed by the stupid upcoming driving test, and hating it every bit. Maybe thats why im gonna fail.

Usually when people approach their test days, they should feel pretty confident. So unless something goes terribly wrong, like striking/mounting curb unexpectedly. Or meeting some really stupid driver on the road, they should be able to pass. For me, I don't even think I can pass if everythig goes normally haha... Who in the world goes into a test planning for the next test date. Which btw i think i'll put some time in august. Oh well, pray for clear skies, and open roads then :)

`RoN~
9:26 p.m.

I bought a new CD today. The latest lifehouse album. It's.. ok bah, still haven't found any songs to fall in love with yet. But sometimes it takes a while. And I got a Jim Brickman CD at clearance for 8 bucks, not a bad deal, except for it being one of those stupid chinese productions. But ah well...

I still wanna get no name face.

Sigh. Well, I'm feeling sad. Not really in a crying kind of way, but in a sorry kind of way. And not sorry as in apologetic, but sorry as in, well, sad. Something like, in a sad/sorry state. Well, in any case.. I don't think sad is a cliche. Some people chide english for making use of too generic terms such as sad and happy and nice. I think these words are underused now. If you can use them well, it makes for pretty good effects. Because sad is so generic, it can encompass such a wide range, of which I am feeling right now. Just sad.

Also, I am not nice. I have no idea how I am 8th nicest on facebook. Because people usually say, so and so may be abit [insert negative adjective here], but he's a nice guy, about anyone in general. Well, I can safely say, I may be a bit [postive adjective], but I'm not a nice guy. Because I'm terrible at being nice. It's my greatest goal in life, to be nice.

And the school term starts yet again. And I find myself horribly unprepared.

`RoN~
10:25 p.m.

how queer. diaryland changed it entire layout. I must say, it looks much more professional now. Although I totally didn't recognise it when I first entered after so long..

And ohmygoodnesss... i just saw a scene on TV, its the new show en bloc, and a very familiar scene it is indeed. 2 army guys just came out from an army camp carrying their pink ICs, and they shouted, ORD LOH!!! Brings back such tears to my eyes. Haha...

So anyways... I've been having fun at school. Doing nothing much. Invigilating. Marking papers. Doing other boring admin jobs in the office. Crashing the art room... haha, chatting with all the other j3s about A levels. But still, fun stuff.

Anyways, someone thinks I'm cute! Ohmygosh. I feel so kawaii now.

`RoN~
8:29 p.m.

adj.
Having no commitments or restrictions; carefree.
Not in love or married; unattached.

I love this phrase, because it seems pretty apt. The want of travel, wanderlust. Heh usually only strikes people in their uni years.. 20s really is the age for travelling.

And fancy free. Heh. Only special phrases which I love actually make it to my blog titles, msn nick and facebook status all at once.

I've been pretty slack lately, this 2 weeks is full lecture weeks i.e. i don't have any lessons to teach. So I've been helping out with the appeals mainly. Its been quite an eye opener to see how appeals are done, and really to gain a deeper understanding of how all the processes works..

From sheer joy to sheer agony, it just flooded me with the memories I had after first 3 months, how I felt at that point in time. Not wanting to be where I was, but having no choice in the matter. In the end it just boiled down to acceptance. Sigh

Sigh, to cut the long story short.. I was sincerely touched by all the personal stories that were told, and once again rekindling my hope that ac certainly has not lost its spark. Amazing how a mere 3 weeks can totally change a person's perspective on a school. I can't say anything more, because it did for me as well.

`RoN~
9:33 p.m.

I realised, admittedly, that I have committed a faux pas in my last post. Because the simplest things in life are most probably free anyway.

Nothing so surprising there.

I'm trying to wean myself off the com. So I'll be seeing you.

`RoN~
6:47 p.m.